Working Thoughts 3/13/09
A Review of The Fearless Fish Out of Water: How to Succeed When You're the Only One Like You
Working Thoughts 3/13/08
Interpersonal Skills and the Brain - a study
Working Thoughts 3/9/08
The Different Classes in the US
2006 median household earned $48,201
1999 median household earned $49,244


And this snaps me out of my frustrated mood. Remember, I wanted to read the news and drink my coffee. My daughter wanted to wear a hat. I asked myself a personal question about being a father.
People tend to think of themselves as stories. When you interact with someone, you're playing a role in her story. And whatever you do, or whatever she does, or whatever you want her to do, needs to fit into that story in some satisfying way.
When you want something from someone, ask yourself what story that person is trying to tell about himself, and then make sure that your role and actions are enhancing that story in the right way.
We can stoke another person's internal motivation not with more money, but by understanding, and supporting, his story. "Hey," the driver's boss could say, "I know you don't have to get out of the van to help people, but the fact that you do — and in the rain — that's a great thing. And it tells me something about you. And I appreciate it and I know that man with the walker does too." Which reinforces the driver's self-concept — his story — that he's the kind of guy who gets out, in the rain, to help a passenger in need.
Working Thoughts 2/3/09One final retail example is described beautifully by my friend Paco Underhill, a shopping-pattern guru. In his book, Why We Buy, he describes how shoppers who do not have a shopping basket or shopping cart go quickly to the checkout when their arms get full. Okay...so what? A casual observer says that is obvious. A savvier approach might be to interview people in a checkout line with an armful of goods to ask where they were three minutes earlier and if they would have considered buying anything else if it hadn't been so difficult to carry so many items. Underhill concludes that more establishments should consider putting shopping baskets in the middle of the store to keep customers in shopping mode longer (since research showed that few would go back to the front of the store to get a cart once engaged with shopping).